


Washing your hands clean isn't guilt free

by Folie_lex



Category: Queen of the South, Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: Coda, F/M, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 04:47:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Folie_lex/pseuds/Folie_lex
Summary: Teresa & James have an honest conversation about the "cost of doing business"... again...Set sometime in 3.04: James comes back from dropping off the money with Espinoza's wife.





	Washing your hands clean isn't guilt free

**Author's Note:**

> #1 - This is completely un-beta’d so all mistakes (humongous and/or minor) just credit them to that.
> 
> #2 - Queen of the South is AMAZEBALLS! WATCH IT!
> 
> #3 - This was fic was inspired as I was watching 3x04. I noticed James seemed like he was trying to hold his tongue a lot, whenever the "Mayo" situation came up. I felt he realised offering to get rid of the Sheriff wasn't the best option, but knew if that's what they were doing killing him was the way to go. His look after Teresa told him she was sending the video to Espinoza told me he actually saw this coming from a mile away. And thus: fic was born... 
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own anything... I'm just a fan expressing some love.

She is watching the live press confrence from the hospital, about Mayo's surgery, on the local news when James gets back.

"Everything okay with the money drop?"  
"Yeah. Your guy... Ivan was it?" she nods, "yeah, his intel on Espinoza's address checked out. Left the duffel in garage, figured the wife will see it when she parks the minivan."  
"She wasn't there?"  
"Still at the station fighting to file a missing person's report, according to my guy."

He has this conversation with her looking intently at the TV and refusing to meet her eyes.  
He is the one to break the silence though.  
"Will he make it?"  
"Too soon to tell. The surgeon said earlier, they'll have a better idea in the next 48 hours." 

He says nothing for a long beat, and she watches him as he looks staight ahead, the flickering of the images from the screen illuminating his features.  
She sees the clenching of his jaw. She's seen him do that often enough with Camila to know he's trying very hard to hold his tongue and not overstep.  
Teresa hates to admit it to herself, but she would actually really appreciate some of the unsolicited advice he tends to serve her in these situations... how he used to anyway.

She tries for some small talk to get him to loosen up a little.

"Probably not the best time to take Pote to the hospital and take a better look at that hand."  
"Definitely not."  
He takes too long a pause and she's about to try again, when he asks for Pote's whereabouts.  
"He called it a night a bit after you left."  
He takes another long beat before he turns on his heels and lets her know he'll follow suit.

He still hasn't actually looked at her and she can't really stand the distance he's keeping from her right now. He's half way out the den when she calls back to him.  
"There's something you want to say."  
That stops him in his tracks and he turns to her for the first time since he came in the room.  
"What makes you ask that?'  
"I'm not asking," she clarifies. "You have something to say to me." He bites down on his cheek, matches her stare, stands his ground, but doesn't say anything. "Say it," she insists.  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"I've figured by now, you don't listen even if I do, so why bother." 

It occurs to her that he's not being combative, just resigned.  
"You might not believe it, but I do," she says as she stands up from where she's sitting on the couch. She realises, at that moment, she is way more defensive than she intended.  
He shakes his head and while it would be easy to call the gesture patronizing, it's actually exhaustation he exhumes.  
"You hear me," he explains, "but you don't listen. Never have."  
"James..."  
"I said, two days ago I told you: it's gonna cost blood. And look Mayo, I'm happy to poke as many holes through as you want me to. But Espinoza? We put him in that position... And we didn't have to."  
She's taken aback that he's so indignant about this. She's even more taken aback he believes he is the one who has to point this out to her.

"You think I don't know that?"  
"I think you sending him that video and not expecting it to end this way for him, is what you didn't want to know."  
"And you'd rather we have gone straight to Mayo and..."  
It's his swift movement that makes her not finish her sentence, as he lifts his hand sharply and points at the TV.  
"That's where we ended up anyway!"  
He doesn't exactly yell, but it's louder and more forceful, and in some ways she thinks he needed to get that off his chest.

But this is not what they've agreed on. He didn't come looking for her half way across the planet only to fall back onto the same old habits... he was explicit about that. And she's more than happy to remind him.

"We said we were doing things a different way. That's what that looks..." - "...This is NOT what that looks like!" he cuts her off, and she can tell: he's had enough.  
He takes a long calming breath and makes his case.  
"Look, I get it: We can and should try to do better. And I'm with you there... But to expect everyone else to fall in line, change years and decades of how they do business just because you came along and said _my way is the right way because I say so_? That's just beyond naive. That's stupid. And that will get us and other people killed... it's exactly what got that reporter killed..."

Truth is James has tried to explain this to her before and often. But it's easy to ingore his undelining point, and hold the high moral ground when you can wash away your hands with a "Camila told me to do it".

She studies him and notices he looks so tired and defeated.  
"I'm... I'll just call it a day," he breathes through what almost sounds like a sigh as he makes his way to exit the den again.  
A quiet "Goodnight" is what she tells his retreating back, and lets the rhyme between that and the "You were right" she had intended to say originally echo in her head for the rest of the night.

  



End file.
